Still a Baylor Girl

When you reach the stage that life is measured by significant year reunions, funerals, and weddings of close friend's children and the grandchildren that follow thereafter, I'm pretty sure it means you're old.

I went back to Baylor Homecoming for my 25th class reunion. Once on campus, I realized very quickly that aside from very polite greetings from students, I had become another irrelevant parent. I had actually planned my outfits for the big weekend--something I do once a decade at best. I'll be completely honest, I did consider that I might finally snag a "Baylor boy" after all these years. (I didn't run into any divorced Baylor boys. Divorce at Baylor doesn't happen; but, that's another post.)

The only people that noticed me, were of course other old Baylor alums--other geezers that recognized my face and were pulling all the RAM they could to crank out my name before we actually had to speak. I learned just about everything I know about social graces at Baylor and this one was the dead give away I was not alone... "Girl! How are you?" Guys say, "Man!" or if trying to keep up with their kids' vernacular, "Dude!" I chose the direct approach and said, "I should know your name. Given that I cannot remember my only child's name several times a week, will you remind me of yours?"

I love Baylor and have such fond memories of living life full tilt with so many others that shared my values and ideals. Despite my goals, I was even educated well. What I value most having gone back after 25 years is what I valued most then as well, relationships.

My dearest friends at Baylor still recognize my voice when I call. They still know that if they compliment me on something, I'll tell them how much it cost. In turn they will disregard or applaud my boast about the bargain. They also know that I'm prone to hyperbole-except when it comes to my bargains. I am fiercely truthful about sale items.

Although there have been long stretches of time where communication is sparse, my core group of friends have all been committed to one another. In the past 5 years we've been even more intentional with seeing one another. We've all discovered that life gets harder. We trade up for higher sets of problems. That's growth. We also know that growth hurts. There is nothing quite so comforting as an old friend to simply listen while I cry--to feel only comfort when she wipes the inevitable snot drop off the tip of my nose.

As in all places, Baylor has it's share of one-upmanship. It's a place where to be smart, beautiful, high achieving, and spiritual is the norm, not the exception. If I'd thought I was any of the above back in the day, I could find 10 people in 5 minutes who were exponentially more than I was. That's a lot of pressure.

I never believed I was naive or young then. I was, in my most humble estimation, wise beyond my years. The one thing I did well was choose good friends with whom I could simply be flawed. It was in the safety of friendships that I could feel almost right about being average. In time, and with growth these same people are ones that I feel completely comfortable revealing both my victories and epic failures.

The bonus now, a blessing that I could have only imagined back in the 80's, is having relationships with these friend's children, so many of them legal adults now. What a delight to see traces of their mother's smile, an expression their father made that still makes me laugh, or hear that child wryly comment about her mother's method of spreading mustard from edge to edge of the bread.

There is a South African word that speaks such truth: Ubuntu- I am because we are. I am Lori Hudgins Clark because of so many people at Baylor: professors, leaders, and students. I am particularly grateful for those people who invested their love and time in me to help me know that I am part of something larger than myself and that it matters. I matter. I know, in part out of success-- mostly through failure, that I am enough.

My dear friend Jenny went to Baylor a decade after I was there. She was appalled that I didn't own Baylor clothing or a car emblem. I now have a zippered hoody, a grey hoody, a t-shirt, and a sticker on the back of my mini-van in pink that says, "Baylor Girl" It's true. Once a Baylor girl.......always.