Anger

It took me almost 30 years to really be comfortable thinking about anger as anything but wrong and bad. It seems slightly unfair because I got a double dose of genetic predisposition towards anger. So I've got a temper and I'm strong-willed, as Mr. Dobson would say. My daughter got a double dose too. In my life, anger and shame become synonymous. The Bible was increasingly valued in my family as I was growing up. Here's the verse that this mind questioned so very often....


Ephesians 4:26
“In your anger do not sin” 

It seemed so obvious to me, even as an adolescent that there was something important here. Few people were ever willing to really discuss this with me. Easy answers or dismissive responses were mostly what I got. Until Gay Hubbard. There was something so freeing to me to hear her value my question and then help me grapple with the complex issue. "Well. Let's look at this head on and see what we can learn."

That was 20 years ago and I'm finally in a place where I can, like Gay, say the same thing. Like most things it's because I've screwed up so many times that I've tried just about every bad solution there is. More, I know  God in a way that helps me understand grace in a way that I am finally amazed by it. I am beginning to study kenotics and the way in which Christ emptied Himself to become human and dwell among us. I have great faith that Jesus knows the limitations of being human and fully understands why anger can be so valuable, when applied well.

As is my habit, I wrote in my head, first, before typing. I've had this marvelous conversation with myself that ended in a belly laugh. I'm fully aware that I'm odd. I've embraced it at this point.  I started listing all of these great organizations that were founded. I asked the question, "why?" Anger.

 M.A.D.D. Why? Anger      

Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Why? Anger     

Suicide prevention groups? Anger     

I heard my self saying, "Anger" with great authority. Suddenly, I saw myself in a lion's suit substituting the word, Courage. That's my favorite part of Wizard of Oz. 

It's true though, anger used appropriately can propel us from horrific loss into new places. I'm thinking about a friend's adult brother who is an alcoholic and codependent on his family. Anger is the best way for them to propel themselves into loving him enough to not allow himself to destroy himself and them. Anger, along with the directions from above, was the motivation that helped me leave a marriage that was destructive to my soul and life.

That's the simple version. I wish it was that easy. It's harder than anything one could ever even manage to be angry and not sin. I know that Jesus understood that. I think that verse is an open invitation to seek His help. I cannot describe how that works because I haven't the foggiest idea. I just know that when I give God a microscopic place to dwell within and have reign in that space, He fills it and does the impossible. If I would just remember and allow Him.