Labyrinth

About 8 years ago, I had the unique opportunity to walk a labyrinth with other retreat participants. The retreat center just happened to have one and it was well done. It was almost identical to the one pictured above. I was befuddled when the retreat leader found it and was elated that we could walk it for our closing ceremony. I'd walked one alone some years back and I found it to be like going to the airport when there are no lines at the check-in desk. There are rows and rows of  rope to traverse before you even get to the person who will eventually tell you to, "Have a safe trip."  Crawling underneath a couple of those ropes is certainly more efficient, especially when you're in a hurry. It's useless to walk more steps than is necessary to get to the end goal. Based on that mentality, I found the labyrinth a big waste of my time. I can remember thinking, "What is the deal? I can't believe that this concept has been passed down for thousands of years."

I'm glad that there are people much smarter and wiser than I.

I hadn't thought about that labyrinth experience for such a long time. A couple of weeks ago I had the truly blessed chance to hang out with a friend who is in a very difficult life place right now. She is a woman of great courage whom I admire and love very much. There is an age gap between us. She was born while I was a college student. If my path had been different, it's possible that I could have a daughter her age. And yet, she has been a vital part of my life for the past two years. Without her work and diligence, my path today would be very different.

We bonded well from a professional standpoint. We chose to be friends. We both love books, we love to laugh, and we share common wounds and hurts from life's journey.

We hadn't seen each other in weeks and we had hours of catching up to do. While sitting side by side, both of us in socks and comfy clothes, we kept talking about such similar themes and patterns in our lives. The visual of walking the labyrinth with others kept popping into my mind. Here's my best memory of the event.

Our leader intentionally lined us up in birth order. The oldest woman went first. The youngest went last. My sister was just one woman ahead of me and another dear friend, years younger, was much farther down the line. None of us had any idea where the labyrinth ended, nor was the path visible when standing in front of it. We received no instructions other than to walk and follow the path.  (Oh, and remain silent. Always a challenge for this woman who has NEVER won the silent game.)

It seemed logical that as the participants made their way through the path, that it would get easier to see the end. Such was not the case. The more women that entered, the less obvious it was as to how far along the path they were. Even with Carol, my sister, ahead of me, I was so surprised as to how many times it felt like she was behind me. I was shocked at how often I saw her face, not just her back. Reluctant to admit how much Engineer is within my DNA and how competitive I am, I nevertheless, was looking for the end constantly. I finally discovered, because of others before me, that the end was actually in the center. Knowing this, I was taken aback when my much younger friend appeared to be at the finish line before me. How could this have happened?

I was convinced then (and now, in all honesty) that math would (will) be my final demise. I quickly concluded that this was a math puzzle. My young friend, Heather had figured out something I had not. And yet, within moments she was hidden from my sight line as I completed the labyrinth. At the time, the lesson of astonishment was that maybe a linear view of life was not realistic when measuring internal growth. Chronology may not be the best indicator of maturity. Maybe it's the experience of walking alongside someone? Seeing their back sometimes? Only to be surprised moments later that you're face to face in an unexpected turn in the road? Maybe the end isn't the most important part?

Here's what I've pieced together from this new image of the labyrinth memory that I know today. I have learned something new and different because of this friendship. She and I started out our journeys at vastly different times. We share some unhealthy life patterns. I've been practicing some better patterns for a tad longer. But at this juncture, we're working on the same issue. She may be discovering some things for the first time. I needed to revisit the familiar fury for remedial work.

What mattered most that weekend was that we were fellow travelers. My remedial work did not make me inferior to her. Nor did my few years of practicing make me superior. Walking together provides stability. Comfort. Hope. There's also an important place for humility. Shared humanity.

The goal of the labyrinth is learning. A maze has the intent to confuse and intentionally challenge. I prefer to look at life as a labyrinth. Sometimes I need to see my sister's face. Sometimes I need to see her back and know that if she walked that steep hill ahead, I can do it also. I know by experience, it is absolutely possible to crawl under obstacles at the airport and avoid what seems a trivial waste of time. I choose that example because there was that time a couple of years ago that I failed to take into account how low I'd have to dip my body AND my pink and green polka dotted suitcase. I was so happy that few were around to witness a huddled mass of pink, green, and flesh on the thinly carpeted area.

I'm that girl who rarely gets away with what seems like legitimate cheating.

And yet, by taking the path not intended I might miss something of value or make a giant fool of myself for my arrogance in knowing there must be a shortcut. I'm thankful that remedial work is always available. The sun rises every morning and I get a chance to make different choices.

There are times when we are surrounded by those who are closer to the end of the path. Pay attention and learn. It's very possible that the person whom we are looking at has revisited our issue several times and might have wisdom to offer for the current drama of our day. It is also quite likely that you may offer that person a treasure forgotten or one not collected on their journey.

I'm looking forward to time with an older friend this week. The age gap between us is exactly the gap between my daughter and me. I am blessed beyond measure with the wisdom of this friend. My ears and my heart are wide open.