I Resent YouTube AND Pinterest

Within 10 minutes from my house there are 3 Wal-Marts. I can drive to the Neighborhood Market in about 2 minutes--unless I miss the light on FM 407 because there are 3 cars at the light instead of the usual one or two.

Scary Wal-Mart is actually the next closest one. It's the older one and the parking spaces aren't really conducive to Texas sized trucks or people who have regard for public safety.

There's Nordstrom Wal-Mart just down the road. Their parking spaces are ample; but, it takes forever to park and walk into the store. Plus, there's only one left exit back to my house and that light can often take 3 rounds to get through on weekends. Plus, they never, ever have enough check out people. Apparently everyone in my area prefers Nordstrom Wal-Mart.

Argue with me about most anything else. Don't expect to win over retail arguments. I know Wal-Mart.

Annie Beth is becoming a great baker. She's learning primarily from YouTube and Pinterest. I learned from my mother whose goal was and always will be taste over presentation. Her delicious sheet cakes are still served in the same silver oblong pan with the sliding cover.

AB wanted to make a blueberry banana tart. I don't own a tart pan. I've got 5 spring form pans. I have countless pie pans and 3 with fluted edges. But.  That's not what that stupid, skinny girl said was necessary for her YouTube masterpiece. Guess where we went to buy one? It said online they had them in store.

Well...they didn't.

We ended up at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and of course I forgot my 20% off coupon. Tart pan was secured, though.

I am learning by error, mostly that my instructions are neither wanted nor heeded. What little I do know means nothing compared to the pictures on Pinterest and what some stranger on YouTube says.

The next few hours are an angry blur. Here's what I heard last before I fell asleep. "BUT MOM I FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTIONS EXACTLY AS SHE SAID!!!"

A new weekend day dawned and I was prepared to help with the pie crust.

This is what I know now:

1. No one makes pie crust like I learned from my Mom--who learned from her mother--who learned from her mother.

2. Her pie crusts taste fabulous. So do mine. Sometimes they are pretty. Sometimes they aren't.

3. I couldn't find either of my pastry blenders. Listen to your daughter that Neighborhood Market, Dollar Tree, and Home Goods will NOT have this:

Remember....it was a weekend and I was avoiding big Wal-Mart. (new term--applies to any Wal-Mart)

4. And blast it, who knew they were so expensive now? Supply and demand is real folks. 

5. Pinterest and YouTube are the downfall of all things imperfect. So what if the crust sagged on one side just slightly? My teeth and tongue didn't care one bit.

6. In order for me to stay semi-sane, I'll let perfect people who are unreachable teach my child to bake. 

I am also going to ask that all of those people insist on teaching the importance of cleaning up afterwards. That's another post.